What's good about getting old?

Aging: How can I get old well if I don't want to get old?

I don't know if you ever think about aging ... but I, with an almost ... uh, actually fully grown child (soon to be a master of architecture), I can no longer suppress these thoughts. And would like to share it with you. I'm curious what you think about it.

I was confronted with the topic of aging as a child

My father was 27 years older than my mother - I was born when he was 62 years old. He made his own aging a clear topic, he didn't want to hide it. He trained me with foresight on what to say if, for example, other children would mistake him for my grandpa. That made me feel confident. The enlightening words passed my lips very easily and without injury: “You know, this is my father, he was a professor at the university and fell in love with a student - that was my mother!”. That was really cool and it came across as cool!

But I also looked closely. I loved my father - but I really wondered why my mother found him attractive. I saw an old man. I found quirks and physical characteristics of an "old man" bad with him.

I think I remember how some of what I saw as "old" really bothered me about the older members of my family: I had tricks up my sleeve to escape the bad breath of my almost 90-year-old aunt and thus her hugs or that of an uncle, who no longer took it too seriously with personal hygiene not to get too close. I was rather uncomfortable with these older family members.

On the other hand, getting older was great for me - I wanted to be big and independent. I was a total straggler in the whole circle of friends of my parents, because my mother lost 9 pregnancies before me and I was not only a late child for my father. Therefore, among the children of my parents' friends, I was “the flea”. The others were older and I wanted to be older too ... Oh yes, and I was a bit precocious there too, for which I received more praise than eye rolls.

Then my parents died when I was 12 and 15 years old. And probably the fact that I no longer have it is something that makes these thoughts come up again here. Most of you will be in a comfortable sandwich position: From a generational point of view, you have your own parents above you and the little ones underneath ... I am, if we stick to this metaphor, cover and filling at the same time.

NowI realize that I am having a hard time with my own aging

In business life, I'm no longer a young vegetable, but feel like an “oldie”. Although I hand in the experienced “creative-crazy-chicken”, the role is well received and I also fill it out quite well…. If I could choose, I'd rather be around 35 forever. If I walked into the startup locations in Berlin, that would be exactly the perfect age - not too young and still well before the best-before date has passed. Besides, I'm just about to post a bankruptcy Building something new - here, too, I feel a kind of panic and impatience: What can I still get in what time frame?

I think it's worse with the physical things

If there is a pull in my back or I can't go through a night with ease or a cold makes me so flat that I'm no longer capable of anything ... then the thought puffs up in my head: “Oh dear, I'm getting OLD! “Then incontinence and rollator scenarios flash through my head. For me, topics related to eyes, teeth and the musculoskeletal system are particularly frightening.

At the same time, I haven't been hit enough so far to really do sport persistently and purposefully - I start a lot and don't go through ... Swimming is best for me, but it bores me. I tried yoga, but I'm too impatient. Games are more mine - give me a ball and I'll be like a puppy! But for games you have to make an appointment ... Okay, I'll stop with “excuses”. I'll get into badminton again and I'll keep you posted. Howgh!

The worst thing for me would be to get old in my head

It also kind of hurts in my heart to notice how dear joy "signs of age" have and remind me of the old aunts and uncles of my childhood ... or even worse, getting "old in the head", blocking oneself, learning new things or simply doing it can no longer. At the same time, I think that this is the least likely to happen to me because I am a curious person and ready to keep up with everything - but above all with digital developments. Still, the fear is there: what if something comes out that depends on me? Snapchat is making me wonder a little right now.

I want to "age with dignity"!

Sometimes I feel like a 30something that happens to be in the body of a 40 and almost 50 year old wondering what the hell happened. On the other hand, I'm also terrified of being petted up: To pretend to be young and to be embarrassed ... Fortunately, my daughter Carina keeps a close eye on me and tells me immediately what works and what doesn't. She forbade me to do braids when I was 30 ... I want her to always give me relentless feedback from her point of view - I want her to feel comfortable with her mom and not be funny.

What helps me are positive role models. I recently met the mother of a friend, she turned 90 a month ago and is a fantastic woman: fit, well-groomed, lightning-intelligent and quick-witted in conversation in three different languages. She runs a six-person household with Grandezza - she doesn't have to tour the shops herself, but she's in charge and in the kitchen she has “no democracy”. After three days of visiting I was inspired - and somehow also reconciled with the idea of ​​aging.

Such videos are also awesome:

I have great faith in modern medicine and firmly believe that in around 20 years things will be possible that no other generation has experienced. In 20 years no one will be pushing a rollator anymore, they will be from oneMoving exoskeleton. Small nano-computers will clean our arteries, quality and expectation of life will increase. Nevertheless, I believe that it is better today to deal with your body and mind in such a way that you stay fit as sustainably as possible.

do you understand me? What are you doing today for your non-financial retirement provision?

Best regards,

Béa

These thoughts go well with it:
“All the more serious for me was the not surprising realization that with a reasonably sensible way of life and some luck, I would have at most the same lifespan before I die. That may sound mundane and maybe a bit silly and my younger self would have probably just raised an eyebrow tiredly in order to then devote myself to another, more exciting topic.

But for a while it threw me completely off track. It was so difficult to grasp for me and at the same time so intimate and overwhelming that I didn't talk to anyone about it for a long time. Here and now, too, I find it difficult to put into words this feeling of powerlessness and horror that came over me in these moments. Suddenly I was 10 years old again and sat crying in my cot at night because I suddenly realized that my parents were getting older and one day they would have to die. ”Read more here.

P.S. The Dorie also has an exciting article on the subject of aging ...