Why does Givenchy cost so much
Fashion weak: 590 euros for a hoodie - genius or madness?
Buying designer clothes is science!
Haute couture for home use is expensive, but not necessarily money burned. You won't get rich with worn Miu Miu sneakers or Stella McCartney It bags. But happy. And if you draw up an accurate cost-benefit calculation, like any serious, sensible person, you get quite astonishing results. At least I do. And everyone else I know who has ever fallen in love with a Chloé mini dress and then spontaneously decided not to eat or pay any rent for the next three months so that she can take it home straight away.
Fantastic clothing makes you self-confident (priceless), makes you look beautiful (priceless), and we wear them much more often than the cheap counterparts from department stores and online sales. This is science!
Stocks aren't sexy, but Saint Laurent is
Let's take an example: I have a Saint Laurent hoodie. He's just incredibly cool. I love the fabric, how it lies on the skin, how it falls, and the design anyway. It looks a bit vintage, or edgy, as the fashion industry has been saying lately. And Thomas Hayo. He always says that too. Anyway, the Saint Laurent hoodie costs 590 euros. And the hoodie isn't even from the couture collection, it's a ready-to-wear item. If my mother heard that, she would say: "If you buy a sweater with a hat for almost 600 euros, you are not viable." But she is wrong.
I also explain why. Values are ultimately feelings. A share is not sexy. Neither is a real estate fund. But emotions pay back! I'm not a big investor, I agree with Carrie Bradshaw: I like my money where I can see it - hanging in my closet. That's how the game goes. Impressively verifiable. Everyone can understand it. You don't have to become a self-made billionaire to realize that the fifth private jet doesn't make you happier than the third or fourth.
Picasso - the Saint Laurent of painting
But I digress. My Saint Laurent hoodie. It's easy. I have hoodies that were only a fifth as expensive. So I could have five nice hoodies, or one from Saint Laurent. I would always choose Saint Laurent. Haute couture is art. You wear them on your body. Therefore, unlike, for example, art by Picasso, the Saint Laurent des Brushes, it makes you happy not only through its existence. Also through its magic, which it imposes on you. I wear this hoodie all the time. At least twice a week. When it's cooler outside, but not really cold yet, actually every day.
It's chic enough to go to dinner parties with, arty enough for cool clubs, cozy enough to feel comfortable in on long flights, and casual enough to spend a playful Sunday afternoon with friends on the Outer Alster to hang out.
Advanced course: fashion math
It's simple math: I wear this hoodie at least eight times a month. The hoodie, which is only a fifth as expensive, maybe every three months. If any. So the calculation is: How much does the individual hoodie cost me over a period of, let's say, three years, accumulated over the period of wearing (even leaving out all the other comfort)? Eight times a month makes 96 times a year. Times three are 288. 288 hits for Saint Laurent in three years. So if I were to write off this hoodie in an income statement over the three years, it would have cost me almost exactly 2 euros per wear.
And here, dear friends of the Telekolleg Fashion-Schönrechnerei, the counter-evidence: The “normal” hoodie for 120 euros comes in four times a year, so 12 times in three years. That makes a whopping 10 euros per stretcher. Seen in this way, my Saint Laurent hoodie is five times more efficient than its cheaper counterpart from the middle-class couture. Are you convinced? I know I should apply for a professorship at an elite business university. I might do that too.
Get rich through efficient use of haute couture
The great thing about this bill is that it doesn't just apply to my hoodie. It applies to a great many things that one would initially consider to be overpriced luxury. Okay, not for everyone. Not for a yellow 600 Euro Vetements shirt that looks like a DHL parcel delivery service. You wear it three times, then bury it in the closet and feel ashamed. Unless you're Kim Kardashian. Then you have enough money to buy not just the DHL shirt, but the whole Vetements booth. This is an even better way to get the money back than with Saint Laurent hoodies. However, that doesn't help much, because after that you will be even richer, but still Kim Kardashian.
Ultimately, and I'm taking the basic idea seriously, designer sneakers or haute couture dresses may not be such a stupid investment. Which brings us back to the cost-benefit calculation. Often this is true. Even my mother understands that. Maybe a good time to ask them for a little mini loan for this ultra-mega-cool bag from Louis Vuitton, right?
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