How do I make an appointment with a Chinese woman

First date tips

The first meeting is always very exciting, because it is often the first time you meet your online acquaintance, with whom you previously only talked in the chat of the respective partner exchange, by SMS or by phone. Many therefore have questions such as: which place is best for a first date? What should I wear on the first date? And what should I talk to the person I am talking about on the first date? Here you can find answers to these questions. This way you can prepare yourself perfectly for the first date and make a good impression on your counterpart.

Excitement on the first date is normal

Many know it: The excitement increases sharply before the first date - especially if the last date was a long time ago. The tingling in the stomach gets stronger the closer the date gets and the doubts about how the date will end. What's going on inside of us? The psychologist Sandra Jankowski explains why our stress level increases before a date: “On the one hand we have high expectations of the date, on the other hand we can be disappointed. We cannot control this situation or make any prediction. This creates stress for us. As a result, we behave less naturally or, as a result, often have blackouts. "

So excitement on the first date is quite normal. We can still get the stage fright under control. How it works? First of all, you should allow yourself to be nervous and make it clear to yourself that the other person will be nervous too. What often helps: ask yourself what you are afraid of and answer this question. An example would be: the worst that can happen? That I don't please him or her. This way you can see what concerns you. Now try to see the overall situation a little more loosely. For example, tell yourself, “If he doesn't like me, that's okay. Maybe I don't like it either. ”This way you can control the fear a little.

You really didn't like the person you were talking to? Swam over it. He who seeks finds. Just cast the fishing rod again and see what happens. You can find the right fish on partner exchanges such as Elitepartner, Parship and Co. You can find the test reports here.

Another tip: Be honest and tell your counterpart openly that you are excited at the beginning. This is how you address the topic directly. You can usually tell directly from the reaction of the other person that your date is also nervous. Talking about it helps to loosen up the overall situation and relieve you both of your nervousness.

The location - places for the first meeting

“Where should I meet for a first date?” There are many options: café, restaurant, bar or would you prefer a cinema? Choosing where to go can be very difficult, especially when asking your friends for advice. Some people prefer the café because it is a quiet place to chat. The other feels more comfortable in the cinema, as you can talk directly about the film afterwards. But where do you go so that the date goes well? What speaks for a place and what against it? Here are the pluses and minuses of each place.

Some tips:

Cozy and relaxed - the date in the café

Not only women find it very pleasant to get to know each other in the café over a cappuccino or hot chocolate. The date can be a success in a relaxed atmosphere. Because when both are comfortable, the first step towards getting to know each other has already been taken. Do you have a certain café in mind that you particularly like? Then propose it for the first date. This is how you take the initiative. Your counterpart will certainly appreciate that.

In a café with a beautiful view, you can get to know your counterpart in a relaxed manner and, during breaks, let your gaze wander over the surroundings without being uncomfortably noticeable.

Classic and timeless - the date in the restaurant

Candlelight, a good meal and a glass of wine: the date in a restaurant is a classic, not only in Hollywood films. As the saying goes: "Love goes through the stomach." Whether Italian or Chinese: A good meal puts you in a good mood and is the best prerequisite for a successful date.

If you still need tips for ordering: Ask your date beforehand whether he or she is a vegetarian or allergy sufferer. As a precaution, reserve a table in case the place is full. If the waiter wants to take the order, don't order the cheapest wine. It can be of good quality. Avoid spinach, herbs, and be careful with lettuce as greens can get caught between your teeth and look anything but beautiful. Don't eat too much: firstly, it doesn't make a good impression, and secondly, an overcrowded stomach doesn't exactly stimulate conversation, at most it stimulates digestion. There could be other dangers lurking there. The same goes for the wine. Have a glass, but not too much - otherwise the date can quickly get out of hand.

Casual and informal - the date in the bar

If you want a date in a relaxed atmosphere, a visit to the bar is a good option. One advantage of this is the close proximity that you have to your date partner. Through touch (unconsciously or consciously brought about) you both get closer, which can be an advantage for getting to know each other quickly. Unlike in a restaurant or café, the initial stage fright disappears after the first cocktail at the latest. However, the volume level in the bar should not be so high so that you can have a good conversation - you don't want to yell at 300 watt speakers.

A tip for the man: Be charming, compliment your companion and give her a drink. Don't drink too much alcohol to loosen up. Only drink as much as you can handle. Alcohol makes you relaxed, but it increases the risk of losing control and not behaving the way you imagined.

Dark and intimate - the date in the cinema

A cozy evening for two in the cinema? Not everyone thinks that is appropriate, as you can't really get to know each other there. That is why it is often recommended that you only meet at the cinema on your second date. Due to the darkness and the physical closeness that you have there, an intimate situation arises right from the start. For those who can handle it, that's fine. A first meeting at the cinema doesn't have to be bad for getting to know each other. In the two hours that you sit next to each other during the film, you can get used to the situation. This can reduce the stress level. It also has a big advantage: after the film, you have a topic to talk about over a drink at the bar.

Questions are allowed during the film as long as they don't come up too often. After all, your companion shouldn't feel annoyed.

Going for a walk in the great outdoors - the date in the park

Do you and your date have hobbies in common, such as cycling or walking? Then a date in the park is perfect. During a walk in the park or in the zoo, you can chat and get to know each other in peace. Then you can always go to a café if you want.

A tip for women: A little caution on the first date can't hurt. The scenario at night alone with a stranger in the park is not desirable. You can save the romantic walk in the moonlight for the second date.

Whichever place you choose for the first date: Be who you are and don't pretend. In the end it will show anyway whether the chemistry is right and whether the right person is still a long way off. Nobody needs to despair if the date is not going well. Failures are allowed. And if it doesn't work this time: Don't give up, keep trying.

You can find more inspiration and date ideas in our infographic "Where to go on the date?"

The outfit - what to wear on a first date?

Dress, skirt or pants? The outfit plays a major role in the first impression - and at least you get it with your eyes. Here you can find out what you can wear on your first date and what you can't wear at all.

What should a woman wear?

Should women dress more sexy or should they dress more casually? Women in particular are often insecure and spend hours trying out several possible outfits in front of the closet that are suitable for the date. Quite a few women even go extra shopping before a date because they think they have nothing suitable in their closets. Some women also go to the hairdresser before the first date.

Don't drive yourself crazy There is no general dress code for the first meeting. You should look well-groomed and first and foremost choose the clothes that you feel comfortable in! Many women prefer a skirt with a blouse or a chic dress on their first date. Some make the mistake of choosing the shortest dress in the closet, following the motto: the more legs, the better. Many men like that too. A knee-length skirt is perfectly fine, however. You can wear matching shoes such as heels with heels or boots. So you are well dressed and can go to the date with peace of mind. At its core, it will be important to impress your counterpart with your being.

If dresses and skirts are not for you, you can also go to the date with pants. Choose a chic blouse and an eye-catching accessory, such as large earrings or a beautiful necklace. No man will be disappointed when he sees you standing in front of the café with your pants on.

You should choose clothes that fit you, that underline your personality and that you feel comfortable in. You can certainly do without constant fidgeting on the short skirt or stumbling around in the otherwise rarely worn high heels.

Shoes with a little heel are ideal. Better to leave your ballerinas in the shoe cabinet.

What should a man wear?

Women are not alone in this question. Men also ask themselves before the first date: what should I wear? Here it makes sense to go through the closet well in advance of the date. Not that the favorite shirt has been destroyed by the moths.

The decision is usually made on a good shirt and chic trousers. Add a matching belt and a jacket or blazer and you're done. A tie is not absolutely necessary - only if you are comfortable with it.

Are you more of the sporty type? Then you can combine the shirt with a good pair of jeans. Also make sure that your shoes are clean, as many women look to them. And don't come to the date with the sports shoes you wore when jogging in the morning ...

What doesn't work at all: The sweatpants are comfortable, but a no-go for a date - unless you meet for a jog in the park. In a pinch, worn jeans are also possible, if the closet surprisingly doesn't offer anything or if it simply belongs to your style.

The hairstyle and make-up on the first date

Open or would you prefer a bun? The hairstyle has to be right at the first meeting and many women are concerned with before the date. Before the meeting, however, you don't necessarily have to run to the hairdresser and spend unnecessary money to be beautiful. You can do your hair at home too. Most men like natural looking women and prefer hair worn loose.

Make-up should be chosen depending on the situation. After all, you don't want to scare off your counterpart with a thick layer of make-up. Men are more into the natural make-up look. Therefore, do not wear too much. In the café and restaurant, subtle eye make-up - such as an eyeliner - is perfectly sufficient. On the other hand, you can emphasize the lips in a strong red. So you look seductive, but not covered with make-up. If you want smokey eyes, choose a lighter color such as a delicate pink or beige tone to balance the lips. If the meeting is in a bar, you can apply a little thicker.

Men's hair should also look well-groomed. It can also be gel. If you prefer the natural look, your hair can be wildly tousled - but still look well-groomed.

What do men pay attention to, what do women pay attention to?

Men only pay attention to their appearance - that's what many women think and really get ready for the first date. Men, on the other hand, believe that women can be impressed with a lot of humor. What do men and women actually pay attention to? The Berlin psychologist Sandra Jankowski has answers:

“Men attach great importance to the attractiveness of women, women rather to a well-groomed appearance. Men first pay attention to the woman's eyes and gaze - if this signals: 'I am interested in you', then they look at the woman's figure. With women, on the other hand, the gaze is no less important. Although they look at the eyes first, after this initial contact their gaze falls on the man's hands, then on his figure. A man's appearance is not that important to many women. "

And then it really starts. During the conversation, both men and women pay attention to the behavior of the other person. Gestures and facial expressions are carefully examined. Is he / she friendly? Is he / she sensitive? How does he / she appear to me? The smile is very important because it shows more about the character than you think.

Men especially like it when the woman listens to them and can be enthusiastic about many different topics. Women, on the other hand, pay great attention to how men treat other people, as this says a lot about their character. It is therefore important to show interest and ask questions during the interview. Both sides shouldn't be neglected. If someone does not have a say and is talked to, the joy is rather low.

Incidentally, a Parship study found that women pay more attention to education when choosing a partner. Among the men surveyed, the appearance of the lady of the heart (28 percent) was almost as important as the character of the woman (29 percent).

Small talk on the first date: what to talk about?

The first date: You sit relaxed in the café, have ordered and are looking for the right words. You think to yourself: should I tell my whole life story right away? How do I impress my counterpart? What should I ask?

Many people deal with these questions days before their first date. There are two types: the spontaneous and the cautious. The spontaneous type goes on a date without preparing for the interview. The cautious, on the other hand, wants to “play it safe” and prepares the subject of conversation carefully. If you belong to the second group, you should rather make a list of bullet points and have it ready in your pocket in case of an emergency.

What do you talk about on the first date? Hobbies are a popular topic. Ask ‘your companion what she likes to do in her free time. The fact is that you shouldn't just answer “yes” and “no”. Feel free to share personal experiences from your life, because it has been proven that sharing personal experiences builds closeness.

Another topic: ask your counterpart about their lifelong dream. You can talk about it well and at the same time you learn more about the future planning of the companion. Things that move you are always a good topic of conversation. This way you can see if you share the prospect's views and want to get to know them better. Politics and sport are other topics that are on the "entertainment menu".

Another tip about this: Take your time. Don't tell all of your secrets on the first date. And don't show too much that you like the other person. Stay a little distant. After the date, you can still send your companion a text message and let her know how much you liked the date.

During the conversation you do not agree with the opinion of the other person at all? Then say so, but be calm and kind. Make your point of view clear, but don't start an argument - otherwise the companion can quickly run away.

Do not make any derogatory remarks during the conversation, because they will not go down well with either the lady or the gentleman.

Who pays on the first date?

Does the man have to pay on the first date or should one split the bill? This question always provokes discussions. The truth is: Many women like it when the man pays the classic way on the first date. There are also many women who, on principle, do not want to be invited. That has to be respected. As a man, you can always offer to invite her on a second date.

One tip: If it's just a meeting in a café and thus a small amount, the men should take the bill. If it is a visit to a restaurant, the women should at least offer the man that they contribute to the bill. In many cases, the man would also like to pay in the restaurant. If the man accepts the offer and demands that the bill be split, you shouldn't be angry as a woman - after all, you have offered it.

If you indicated before the date that you would take over the bill, for example by saying that you would like to invite your counterpart, then don't be spoiled. Nothing is worse than destroying a good impression again.

Conclusion

In the end, it all comes down to being comfortable on the first date. Because if you feel good, then your counterpart will also feel it. A good atmosphere loosens the mood. In addition, you are most likely to be yourself when you are comfortable. And as long as you remain yourself, the other person can get to know you better.

Therefore, you should choose the location, your outfit and the topics of conversation that suit you. Then nothing can actually go wrong.

Tip: Your date may be just around the corner and you've already met a nice single. But you may also be looking for the right partner. Anyone looking for a stable relationship and looking for a partner for life should try a reputable dating agency. At Parship, for example, you can sniff in for free and meet many like-minded singles - it's worth a try. To register with Parship, click here.

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