You want your eye makeup to be more dramatic than an episode Grey's Anatomy? Girl, you are way too pretty for so much make-up! Would you rather wear wide sweaters than tight dresses? But that's not so good, my dear! Do you have short hair? Phew, are you absolutely sure that you are not a lesbian? Women and their appearance are always under observation. But who actually says what is beautiful?
The standards for good or bad looks are still surprisingly often shaped by male ideas. If you talk to your friends about fashion trends and a man is there, you will at some point say: “Oh, I don't like that at all! No man I know likes these dressed-up chicks or these blatant clothes! We guys like it more natural. ”. Sounds nice at first and is probably intended as a kind of encouragement. Unfortunately, the opposite of good is still well meant. Why do men think women care if they think they look good? Because they're macho assholes? Or because society encourages men to believe that their ideas are decisive for the attractiveness of women?
In books, films, advertisements - simply all media - female figures can be seen who are beautiful. And that doesn't just apply to the “popcorn cinema”. That teenage girls don't really look like Megan Fox in den TransformersFilming, should have been discussed in the last corners by now. But is Emma Stone's look in La La Land a realistic representation of a woman in her twenties? Or does she represent in this role a tamed, embellished naturalness that must always be desirable?
Women and their appearance are always under observation. But who actually says what is beautiful?
In the 90s series The nanny does the main character Fran Fine joke that she is happy when this "trend towards naturalness" is finally over, because it is quite exhausting to look natural. And anyone who has ever looked for "Easy Everyday Make-up" tutorials on YouTube knows what that means: The fresh look of Emma and many other actresses is not less than an hour's work and without numerous expensive products . This “natural beauty” is considered to be the minimum that every woman portrayed in the media has to meet.
This principle is also used in women's fashion. Even everyday clothing should cover up problem areas as much as possible and bring out advantages instead of fulfilling practical functions. An example that every woman knows are bags on clothes. A lighter fits in the pockets of skinny jeans for women, and with a lot of luck you might get some change. Some jackets and blazers for women often only have “suggested” pockets that are only sewn on but not functional. The reason: filled pockets bulge and bulge.
It is better to deny women functional clothing than to be unsightly. That doesn't stop with bags either. Anyone who has ever looked for a warm winter coat, comfortable shoes or a non-sexualized Halloween costume knows that you can often only find the right product in men's departments because it works.
If you then wear clothing that works, that is, keeps you warm, is comfortable or just covered, you will not be praised for your practical disposition. Rather, the accusation is in the room of "letting go". One is also - without being asked - repeatedly pointed out that "the men" do not like it after all. If you go the other way and try to observe social conventions, you don't necessarily get it right. The high shoes, the "cheap" clothes, the make-up and the whale mane are then not a sign of beauty, but of vanity. And here, too, society will not tire of saying again and again that “the men” don't like women who are so dressed up.
Society has long shaped this fine line of feminine beauty. The basis is always what “men” find desirable. That there is no such thing as “the men”; that women can also have their own ideas and images of what they find beautiful, that does not play a role in this discussion. It is preferred to define problem areas as if female bodies were war zones. Pressure is used to mold women into certain shapes as if they were clay and not people.
What should you do as a woman? Shit on social ideas and live life as a wild eccentric? At the latest, when you are about to be introduced to your in-laws, are sitting with a potential employer or want to convince in an important meeting, you ask yourself whether you would rather be subordinate and dress “beautifully”. But does that mean you've given up? No. It just means it's a long, long fight and there are no easy answers, just some advice.
Because if everyone believes they have a right to comment on how you look, every act of self-love is not vanity, but a piece of revolution.
"Be yourself!", is a stupid calendar saying and only possible if you know who you are. For all those who have no idea who they are, the only thing left is: give yourselves a try. If you find that the hip, short hair gives you the feeling every morning that you are the conqueror of the worlds and cooler than Charlize "Furiosa" Theron: Go for it, girl. And don't forget to smile in the face of anyone who thinks you care for a moment what their opinion is.
But if you prefer to have hair down to your buttocks: Rock on. And don't forget to smile in the face of anyone who thinks you care for a moment what their opinion is. Because if everyone believes they have a right to comment on how you look, every act of self-love is not vanity, but a piece of revolution.
"Be there for one another", sounds like a phrase from the boy scout camp at first. But at some point you get stupid comments about the (un) fitting appearance on a bad day. And you can't laugh or shoot back a sarcastic comment. Instead, you feel a lump in your throat and want to cry. But then there is the other woman who says, “Oh? I didn't even know that a penis automatically makes you an expert in fashion ”. Not all heroines wear capes. And it's okay to be the almost crying woman sometimes, as long as you keep being the superhero for others.
It's okay to be the almost crying woman sometimes, as long as you keep being the superhero for others.
Since all good platitude things come in threes: "You are more than your appearance". No paragraph follows here about the fact that true beauty comes from within and that only inner values count. Rather, a simple truth should be clearly stated again: In dark times, it is not the glow of your beauty that will keep you warm. It is the fire that burns in your chest: for your job, your family, your hobbies.
And if it calms you down: This fire doesn't care what the boys think of it.